Monday, December 20, 2010

Superhero tip #113

What is the most important thing about being a superhero? The powers? What you fight for? No. None of that.

The most important thing about being a super hero is by far choosing the kind of underwear you wear outside your spandex. That will, of course, be the first thing everyone sees when you jump out and say, "Don't worry, I'll save you!" Naturally the eyes of everyone will go there first, especially if you've chosen a pair that shows off your superheroic package. Now there is no shame if you don't have a lot to show, not all of us have had our junk irradiated with gamma rays into Hulk like proportions. Hell, the whole idea of a secret identity is to not be yourself. So while you're making your costume out of the items on the Wal-Mart sale rack, just scoot on over to the produce department and put a potato in your basket. Or a cucumber, it's your choice, this is after all your super suit.

The rest of your ensemble and even your unique way to fight crime should fall into place, but that is of lesser importance because let's face it no hero ever got laid because of the size of the emblem on his chest or if he fights with a Batarang or a billy-club.

So strap on your super suit heroes, go save those damsels, and make 'em a good breakfast in the morning.

The GREAT! Glennisimo

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